Quotes
I've been collecting quotes for years – some of them naff, some of them controversial, some of them by me.
You'll find a lot of quotes in issues of SUDS (elsewhere in this website).
English language is like London. Everytime we speak it is a mongrel mouthful whether we know it or not. Of Chaucer and Milton, and Dryden, and Pope, Shakespeare, and Dickens, and American South Central, and ghetto rap, and Chicago, and Australian convict talk, and legal, and naval, and military. Every phrase we utter is an equivalent of London. It's both vulgar and processional. It's both grand and squalid. And that is exactly what human beings are, it seems to me. Both animal and noble.
When you finally find love, it generally comes in two forms: the first makes you cry a lot but feel incredibly alive; the second makes you laugh a lot and feel incredibly relaxed.
Advertising may be the only business in the world where the clients with the most money can make demands until they get the agency's worst product, while the small client with little to spend must meekly accept the agency's best.
A huge open space where no unwelcome news is ever wafted onto the pages of the worst newspapers in the world.
Once we had wisdom, then we settled for knowledge, now it's mostly information. As the Koran says 'like a donkey loaded with books'.
There is a theory in quantum mechanics called the "one electron universe". It postulates that every electron in the universe is actually a manifestation of the same electron moving backwards and forwards through spacetime.
I have the same theory about sheep.
I have the same theory about sheep.
The only thing the internet has taught us is how to masturbate sitting up.
Clear writers assume, with pessimism born of experience, that whatever isn't plainly stated the reader will invariably misconstrue.
This is a scientific poll. These are not just any old five hundred and forty-nine people. They are, by scientific measurement, the five hundred and forty-nine most stupid people in America who can still answer a telephone. We in the news media get all our major facts from them.
I've been there, it was closed.
Freedom of speech does not mean on can shout 'FIRE' in a crowded theatre.
If you lie in a field,
and fall asleep,
you will be found in a field,
asleep.
and fall asleep,
you will be found in a field,
asleep.
Self-referential Sentences
The first two chapters of the book Metamagical Themas: Questing for the Essence of Mind and Pattern by Douglas R. Hofstadter are about self-referential sentences. It has numerous examples of these, here are 4 of my favourites. If you want more, read the book... or make up your own.
The whole point of this sentence is to make clear what the whole point of this sentence is.
If you think this sentence is confusing then change one pig.
The reader of this sentence only exists while reading me.
This sentence does in fact not have the property it claims not to have.
Anti-religious
The fact that a believer is happier than a sceptic is no more to the point than the fact that a drunken man is happier than a sober one. The happiness of credulity is a cheap and dangerous quality.
The belief that some cosmic Jewish Zombie can make you live forever if you symbolically eat his flesh and telepathically tell him that you accept him as your master, so he can remove an evil force from you soul that is present because a rib-woman was convinced by a talking snake to eat from a magical tree. Makes perfect sense.
Religion is group dynamic and self delusion.
Jesus is the answer to nothing.
God does not exist.
He will not allow them to think,
only to feel.
And they feel they must obey him.
only to feel.
And they feel they must obey him.
Animals breed.
Humans think.
Humans think.
Suppose that every memory, written word, and piece of technology on earth was destroyed all at once, leaving humanity to start completely from scratch. Everything we have come to know about science would eventually be discovered again. Given a few thousand years, people would figure out chemistry, and rediscover all of the same element we know about now. People would once again understand biology, including its evolutionary origins. People would eventually see the motions of other galaxies in the sky, and work out the details of the big bang. This is the glorious part about science, it can and would all be replicated. I can assure you, however, that your story about a talking snake would be gone forever.
Other Quotes...
And a last few random quotes.
The trouble with modern science is it fails to recognise that their are five universal forces
- Weak Nuclear
- Strong Nuclear
- Electromagnetism
- Gravity
- Blue-tak
How is that those who style themselves as 'politically correct' not realise that it is deeds not words that matter?
Backpfeifengesicht
You approach the club in such a mood that you're not going to leave until you've copped off with every good looking guy in the place. Two minutes after walking in, you realise you've already achieved your evening's objectives.
A gay is someone who likes his vice versa.
I'm bisexual – if I can't get it, I buy it.
"How to Write Good"
- Avoid cliches like the plague. They are old hat.
- Be more or less specific.
- Avoid alliteration always.
- It is wrong to ever split an infinitive.
- Who need rhetorical questions?
- Prepositions are not words to end sentences with.
Nothing Is Something That Should Be Included In Everything.
Die Stechmücke hat meiner Badeanzug geschluckt.
He was one of those men, the kind who purposely sit in the biggest booth, or the biggest couch, all by himself. And no-one wants to sit anywhere near him. So he manages to successfully monopolise the best seats in the house – it's as if he's punishing the whole room for not liking him (or vice versa).
This is to certify that this certificate certifies the certainty of this certificate. The above statement is very certain.