Count Moriarty, the famous French Morris dancer

Count Moriarty, Inspector of the Carabinieri, Spanish police

Count Moriarty, French overland saxophone champion

Count Moriarty, the Honourable Bowles

Count 'Fred' Moriarty international senna-pod ace and head of the secret senna-pod ring

Count Fred Moriarty, the world's Louse Ladder Champion of 1927

Count Foreign Fred Moriarty, The fiendish steamroller driver of Regent Street

Count Fred Moriarty, crack leather bucaine player and voted Mr. Thin Legs of 1912

Count Serge Moriarty (Only because he couldn't afford flannel)

Count Fred 'Legs' Moriarty, unimportant minister extraordinary to the republic of Yukkabukkoo

Count Jim Springknees Moriarty

Count Jim Tin 'Thighs' Moriarty

Count Jim Knee-trembler Moriarty

Count Jim 'Kidney Wiper' Moriarty

Count 'Pules' Moriarty

Count Jim 'Wakey Wakey' Moriarty

Count Jim Le 'Steamnuts' Moriarty

Count Jim Thighs [Aaaaw] Moriarty, international chauffeur extraordinaire and general handyman

Count Jim Thighs Moriarty. Count of ten, second Baron lands and Marquis de la refreshments

Count Jim 'Thighs' Moriarty, confidential bus-conductor to the President of France and war correspondent of 'Health and Sound'.

Count Jim 'knees' [FX: single wood block, Moriaty: Owww] Moriaty. Fruit bottler extraordinary to the House of Pronk, and ex World Turkish Bath champion.

Count Jim 'Thighs' Moriarty [Owwwwwww] Schlapper royale, and noted amateur postman.

Count Villion de Jim 'Thighs' [Owww] Moriarty, gold medallist road sweeper to Penge district and international knotted-string consultant.

Count Jim 'Gripe' Labour-exchange Moriarty, leaper supreme and all-England crab champion

Sumbrinaise commander, count Jim 'Knees Naboolah' Moriarty, of the Fried French Forces

Count Jim 'I-must-get- those-hinges-on-my-socks-oiled' Moriarty, world bankruptcy champion for the year ending nineteen fifty-seven

Count Jim 'Bilge' [Oww] Moriarty, voted 'Miss Galley Slops, of 1951' and part owner of the suit he is now wearing

Count Jim 'Drains' [Owwww] Moriarty, undefeated world steaming champion

Count Jim 'Gums' Moriarty, lone porridge dancer and three times world trousers champion

Count Moriarty, ex-actor and has played the male lead in over fifty postcards

Count Jim 'Steam' Moriarty, inventor of the brown boot and first man to go three weeks without stopping

Count Jim 'Toes' Moriarty, only man to have shot a telephone directory in flight and twice world cheese dancer

Count Jim Shag [Owwwww!] Strolling knee-clapper and inventor of the round hole

Count Jim Groins Moriarty, winner of the perforated vest award for the butler's revenge contest, and owner of a 'do-it-yourself' marriage kit.

Count Jim 'Oddman' [Ohhh!] Moriarty, husband extraordinary by appointment to the House of Rita Hayworth.

Count Jim 'Tiger-Nuts' Moriarty, dustbin extraordinary and lady in waiting to Isis.

Count Jim [awwwooww!] 'explosions' Moriarty

Count Jim 'Bubbles' Moriarty, owner of the world's greatest collection of fourteenth Century Italian explosions

Count 'Rumbles' [Abalahoww] Moriarty, champion barbed-wire hurdler, until his tragic accident

Count Jim 'Naboolas' [Owwww] Moriarty

Count Jim 'Flies' [oh!, oh!] Moriarty

Count Jim 'Strains-Supreme' Moriarty, last of the great butlers. He has waited at table bus-stops and YWCA windows.

A Frenchman of noble birth, the family arms a wreck rampant on a field of steaming argent tat, voted actor of the year by Mrs Mable Fumes, son of the eminent graphologist and swine, Count Dingleberries Moriarty!