When a group of friends and I decided to form our very own society we all decided to become knights. This was a fairly easy decision to make, as knights are the only people who can ponce around acting pious and then get pissed every night and abuse the hell out of everyone else. They also pull in the girl because girls always go for someone done up to the nines.

The first thing we did was to think of a really spectacular name; originally we went for one that was so long it was unpronounceable, but we found that we couldn't even remember the initials. Eventually we settled on Knights Under No True Symbol, on the very sound theory that at least the initials would be remembered. Once we had established our name we picked our period of history to represent. By unanimous decision we settled on 500 AD to 1500 AD Some felt that this left little scope for research but it was felt that in the intervals of public education we should limit ourselves.

The next step was a trip to the library to borrow some books. The children's section is very helpful as their books have lots of coloured pictures and even in some cases tell you how to make armour out of cardboard boxes and things. My first helmet was made from a galvanised steel bucket and worked really well until someone hit it in battle (I got my own back because just after that the pommel of his King Carlos sword unscrewed and fell off). We discovered that if you make bits of armour from every period and wear then all at once you will fit in with any other group around. If anyone complains just tell them that it is captured armour. One of the most daring efforts I have ever come across was when a friend of mine rolled up wearing some captured Sontaran armour, although we had a bit of trouble incorporating a sonic disrupted into the combat rules.

The last and best part is making up your own heraldry. I know there are supposed to be rules about that sort of thing, but you can safely ignore them as no-one else seems to know or care about them. Another way is to pinch a set of shapes and colours already in existence and pretend that they belong to you. My particular shield has even been blazened for me, by a friend who for some reason seems to avoid me, probably because he is jealous that he never thought of it first. Mine was taken from literature, although if you don't read much you can always incorporate your favourite Aussie Rules team, the drink you like the most, or even your girl friends underwear, providing that she keeps them on long enough for you to notice what colour they are. Anyway mine is: Vert, in chief three fish heads purulent Sable, a cat passant regurgitant Or, striped Sable.

I hope this is of some use to you. Keep up the good work.