This is the first of three clippings showing that yes, in fact, I have always been obsessed with just one thing.

Census secrets exposed

I have discovered that in the box on the census form marked "Sex" 27% wrote Male, 28% wrote Female, 12% wrote Don't Know. 4% said Weekly. One man wrote WeakIy, and 24% wrote Yes, Please.

All of which is in line with a letter to the Editor published in The Sunday Times in London after the paper carried a comprehensive report on a survey into British sex habits.

It went something like this: "Dear Sir. I thought your readers might be interested in a sexual survey carried out recently by a friend of mine.

"He discovered that after sexual intercourse 2.4% of people did it again, 3.5% had a cigarette, 4.1% rolled over and went to sleep, and the other 90% got up and went home."

– Des Colquhoun

This is an extract from the regular column Colquhoun that appeared daily on the front page of The Advertiser in the early 80s.